music to my ears 
January 23-30, 2007; January 3-10, 2008. 
It's Monday, Feb. 11/08 and today's edition of Manic Monday is up. 
Drop by for a visit if you want to... Have a great day, my friend! 
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152th Commencement Excercises: JUNE 21 2008.
Soci was browsing my highschool project last week and browsed through this list which includes Top 10 things I really wish to happen & Top 10 things I want to achieve before dying.
Time to recap what I have achieve and still yet to! (Made this SECOND YR high school)
TOP TEN WISHES (i really want to happen)
10) Dollar rate would go back to $1=Php20 ( haha wishful hoping?? so we can go travel to more places!)
9) To be able to sell every single house in the Philippines an automatic garage door. (wahah my Father's business Martin Garage doors, just thought of it because we'll be super rich)
My Kids, My Nephews and Nieces would be really really close to each other like my cousins and me (uh-oh. not even friends with cousins anymore :S)
7) To be married to my soulmate (whoever he is! haha)
6) Forever Friends with my Annex5 Troop (awh will be guys! even though we barely see each other na!)
5) To recieve recognition or honors when i graduate college (OH-EM-GEE!, this struck me because I WILL!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOO)
4) My Bestfriend Elaine & I would be studying college together, same course, same school (aww... didn't happen though, but it's ok. was just our dream once upon a time! )
3) Be able to study at DLSU (CHECK! 
)
2) Have a Boy Best Friend (CHECK! haha. but come and go... although they're still reliable and the other one though... hope we'll talk soon!)
1) That my sister and for my cousin carmie will kiss and make up (uhhh top1, but dunno! ahhaha war.. dunno. moving on ...)
TOP TEN DREAMS (things i want to achieve before dying)
10) To experience skiing, to build a sand castle & a snowman
9) To be able to make an "Insights" cover (hs magazine, uhm never happened! haha... i colored though)
Spend my 18th Birthday at New World Hotel (did not happen, New World = Grad Ball, bad memories na! ahah)
7) To take over our company (uhhh no way though wahahhahaha... i have my other plans already)
6) To be a nurse and earn dollars (WAHAHHA no way.. i'd consider being a teacher abroad though!)
5) To move to another country before the Philippines drowns (haha.. that will depend on future opportunities)
4) Still be keeping in touch with Elaine (aw my ever so bestfriend i left in stscho when i decided to study HS in CSA, thank God for Internet 
3) Still be close to my best cousins (uhhhhhhh...
)
2) Be a great mother to my kids (wahah how cheesy)
1) To be a wonderful wife and have a lovely family (hahaha what ever)
AND NOW............... my new list! TOP 5 CAREERS I WANT TO EXPERIENCE/ACHIEVE! (arranged according to priority)
5) Work at some big time corporate/industrial institution... (just to experience, aside from school settings )
4) Work in Summit Media Corporation slash, specifically Cosmopolitan Magazine. (journalist, consultant, researcher..)
3) Go Back to DLSU and apply for PERSEF Teacher (my practicum subject haha)
2) Enroll Masters in Counseling in DLSU while teaching Persef (or if possible, Masters in Counseling at California State University - Dominguez Hills and at the same time teach)
1) Put up my own Preschool
Top 10 things I need and want to do (these are long term goals of course!)
10) Learn new language (wala lang... haha)
9) Enroll in a Journalism/Creative Writing Vocational Course (my dream to write!!!!)
Enroll in a Cooking Course (personal development and for lifestyle benefit )
7) Enroll in a Baking Course (personal development and for lifestyle benefit )
6) Enroll in Masters in Counseling (mainly for personal development hehe; but would be good for credentials)
5) Apply in De LaSalle Zobel (one day hehe)
4) Apply in De LaSalle University (i would like to try and teach my practicum subject again haha)
3) Apply for Free Lance writing (i want to writeeeeeeeeee)
2) Apply for PreSchool (one step closer to putting up my school)
1) can't think of top 1 priority. haha graduate? look for a job??? will accept suggestions.
i experienced interviewing teachers applying for LaSalle
I had the most wonderful experience today amidst after a very stressful term and a very unpredictable future....
I sat together with Dr. Allan Bernardo, Dr, John Addy Garcia, Miss Lara Tolentino & Dr. Rochelle Garcia and watched the teaching demo of applicants for CEPD, more specifically, applying for PERSEF teacher next school year.
It was so much fun today kase I felt like they were just my classmates and I was so overwhelmed because they asked me for opinions if they will accept the applicant or not. Haha…
“Well she handles grade 1 students, she could definitely handle the freshmen class" Later on…
Is it that scary for first timers??? haha.. well maybe if you're not used to that kind of environment. a.k.a. those kind of students. (takes one to know one)
I was just smiling haha… kase they were also remarking how we (my blockmates and I) were behaving as a class. Haha…
Thank you thank you for the privileged and experience.. haha. Will hope to see the teachers who got it, next term!
On my Practicum Porfolio on the other hand, haha I was watching Sir Addy check the portfolios and I got a 4.0. hmph. I better. haha... feeling...
Thesis??? well, few days and i will know the results!! Dr. Bernardo! be kind
P.S. After watching and Evaluating the teacher applicants, i really felt a sudden epiphany that I WANTED TO APPLY TOO! whahahah... sounds like fun... arrr... too bad my teaching demo days are over haha... could have practiced more pa.
we placed his picture in our powerpoint and quoted his commercial lines which served as the introduction for our presentation haha
teachers talk about their students... students talk about their teachers too... and that's how the world of schooling goes.
I don't know when I will stop feeling and reacting about certain things and situations that happens to me every thursday. thursday = Consultation day with mentor = thesis day. My mentor's in school every thursday only so it has become a ritual of dropping by the faculty department before and after classes.. and I tell you...
Today, I felt like a bleeding flesh thrown in a pool of sharks.
But prior to that, in one of my classes we had this exam. But this wasn't that typical examination you get from your classes but out of being pissed. There's this prof. who's been trying so hard to "control" us by giving too many demands as if she already knows us too well. But she doesnt, is she crazy? She hasn't even gained our trust yet and no matter how many rules she implement, unless she gives us a reason why, we don't do exactly as she says. So much for being in a college of education man... you think we're supposed to be guilty, well sorry our conscience does not tell us that we did something that would justify how you reacted. What happened to teachers walking out of the room?!?! ... Quiz=Punishment? you are so so so traditional. You think we're afraid of quizess? We're not afraid of you. And how unprofessional. You take and act on things personally. You don't like us? well NEWS FLASH. we don't like you either, but the world happens to let our path cross and we can't do anything about it but be your student and be your teacher. but damn please do your job well will ya. else go back where you came from! YOU a-hole you're manipulating our grades just because you're mad!? damn you really! you're never fit to be a teacher! the deal was our grades are coming from a paper. and you give us an exam!? i hope you never get married. HAH!
Quiz=Punishment. my gosh. am i in high school???? So what are you happy now because you gave us "stress". i feel fvcking violated. and as usual we're supposed to take the quiz because you're the teacher and you hold the "authority". fvck you don't deserve to be respected.
If you know fear doesn't work with us then why don't you try using a diferrent strategy then MAYBE, just MAYBE we will obey you this time. tsss... I'm too preoccupied to dwell on that teacher's personality problem and just told myself
"there are worst people out there".
Going back to the pool of sharks. I know that the submission for thesis is only a week ahead, but damn can't teachers give even more pressure? There's too many voices and I can no longer identify whom to listen to. and literally TOO MANY VOICES. I thought I was only going to consult from our mentor and our statistical guider (if there's such a word)... I hear some say that how are we going to defend our thesis if we don't even know our statistics. er, not to be bitchy, but doi... ofcourse we're going to learn about it. please don't assume that i'm stupid not to know that i have no choice but to personally understand our thesis. that's why i'm consulting ain't I. I'm trying to figure out what are the things that we need to know. HOW THE FVCK ARE YOU GOING TO KNOW THE THINGS you need to know?! tell me now because I do not know. ... I know the means on how to know things but that's just it. what do i need to know??
it's like you're in a library and you know how to look for a book, its just you don't know what you're looking for. I just wish... for one day... atleast one thursday... i'm not being pulled down by people you're supposed to look up to. I'm not complaining, because yeah. they're your teachers. and it's their job to put you down so that you will learn to pull yourself up on your own. but sheessh i didn't know that's their ONLY job.
sticks and stones may break my bones. so kill me.
another one of damn 'em thursdays... so many voices entering in my head. (like i said. bleeding flesh in a swarm of hungry sharks) blah blah this. blah blah that. blah blah you're not doing good. it's not yet our defense but why do i feel like the whole department's my panel! ...
well i'm sorry lah, im not the best student. but i'm sure hell trying to do my best so will you give me a favor and not try to pull me down???? ... even just give me a rest? I'm trying to do my best to believe in myself and you're taking that belief away from me each time i hear unneccesary remarks.
another one of damn 'em school days. if nobody's going to believe in my comptence its good thing i still believe in myself, i just wish this belief don't gradually... i don't know, fade away?
THE UNIVERSE DOES NOT THROW ANY CHALLENGES OR OBSTACLES THAT YOU CANNOT HANDLE...
but the teachers do.
have i been so pessimistic lately? my biorhythm reports that my intellectual and emotional rhythms is dropping low right now. [haha yeah, ever since high school my bestfriend, Vivienne Zerrudo read these (horoscopes and the like) things once in a while...
Damn that, i hate these type of days... I don't like getting too emo.
F.Y.I. I'm not that busy right now, and effin' bored. makes me think that I'd rather be loaded with work like I've been since the start of the term. Atleast something's up everyday and I'm not the type of person who deals with boredom. (according to psychological assesments, extroverts get drained with being alone)
One more dragging about having too much free time, is that I end up thinking. Thinking and reflecting. and more Thinking which eventually ends up thinking about things which shouldn't be thought about... you get me?. Ohhh, not mentally healthy.
So ok got pretty bored now, and wanting to find meaning in what I am feeling right now... and hopefully it heals or find its way back to numbness.
As the cards you can see below, yeah, did some tarot reading shit in attempt to rationalize some feelings. You have to pay for the interpretation, so i just tried locating the meaning of card in another tarot site. And now, I am off for more reflecting and will try my best to put meaning in the results of my cards . Talk about real boredom. and being so pathetic. hayyyy L
ve. Happy anniversary to my independent/single life for me! =)
Two of Swords. This is the infamous blindfolded lady with the crossed swords. Crossed swords suggest a clash of ideas or words. The blindfolded lady, indicating impartiality, cannot uncross the swords, but she keeps them still. This is the knowledge of how to compromise, keep these two sides in balance and at peace. Note that this is a temporary compromise. The Querent may be in the middle, or just FORCED TO ACCEPT IT. Either way, they must be told that it won't last. The direction of your new brain power here is how to keep these two ideas from fighting, to hold off trouble and make peace. 
Seven of Pentacles. A farmer watches pentacles grow on a tree. Sometimes, there is no way to take control of a situation. The farmer waits for the fruit on his tree to ripen so he may harvest and sell it; he has very little control over when this will happen. All he can do is BE PATIENT. So, too, with waiting for a job offer or raise, waiting for work to pay off, or a new diet, waiting for lottery numbers to be read. Sometimes you have to realize that you've done all you can do. It is out of your hands now. All you can do is WAIT. Ultimately, the sevens share that message, the farmer's message: hold out, be patient, don't rush, go around. Be in control of yourself and you can be in control of this situation. 
Knight of Pentacles. This teen appreciates the very best things money can buy - not only because he likes such things, but because he doesn't like to stand out. He's got projects going, jobs on the side, he fears not having what others have, not fitting in. In comparison to the Knight of Wands, however, this teen likes being at home. He needs to have his own room or secret place, and woe to anyone who goes into that room or changes it in any way. This teen has his own organization system for everything. On the negative side, this teen can be far too solitary, too concerned with perfection, what he does or does not have, or earning a place of respect. Fear of failure or competition or standing out may keep him from leaving his room. He values and protects beautiful things and is a loyal employee if treated right. 
Four of Wands. The ships have come in, and the Querent can sit back and enjoy them. This card, with its four wands holding up garlands, implies the foundation of a house, literally and figuratively. Whatever the Querent has been building, they have established it, strong and solid. They can take a moment to admire what they've done, enjoy the first rewards it has brought them, and bask in their initial success. Sometimes this card suggests marriage; once again, laying the foundation for the future. 
Two of Wands. Usually a person choosing one wand over another. Wands are passion, and passion is not something that works when split. It requires a single focus. This card indicates a CHOICE TO BE MADE, but the instincts are right, and the choice made, where to put your energy and passion, will be a right one. 
Ten of Swords. A man dead with ten swords in his back. It is a nasty looking card. Sometimes everything just... goes... wrong. And this is a card that lets the Querent know that, yes, things are as bad as he fears. The troublesome swords can't get much worse than this, with bad things said about the Querent, ruin of their lives. But as the fellow in the card indicates, the swords have done their worse. You can't be more dead. It is over. 
Page of Wands. A message, possibly from far away, about a trip, career move, leadership position or something spiritual/philosophical.
::rolling eyes:
seems to be my favorite expression lately). Anyway, I don't know exactly how to interpret these shit. But I do know I can get a little advice from it (i think). It's like counseling.
Funny thing is about the challenges and obstacles, is basically telling me to wait for the fruits of my labor will soon bear. And for my advice? ... choices should be made. WOW. that's was helpful... (rolling my eyes again)...
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